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About Kareem Gray
DON'T STOP PUSHING, BELIEVE.
♣ This is for the attention of the reader.
So this is sort of hard for me because of my background, Moreover, I have tried to write this letter hastily in five days. I apologies for any errors, and ask for a little sympathy and empathy. As I have tried my best! Plus, I ask for a little understanding form the reader as they read my excuses. I will be attempting to script and write the highlights of my life and all of its Drama’s. Hopefully, it will explain the pure tension, relief and surprise I have found myself in today, and though the course of a very chaotic life. Where I have found I have been a victim of extreme discrimination, racism and oppression. But somehow, by the grace of god! I have kept a clear and calm head. And by force of will alone, stayed cool and under control even in the most stressful and chaotic of times! Form when I was a child too now.
My life has been a mixture of utter ignorance! However, somehow I have overcome almost every obstacle in my path, that prevented me for realising the realness of the fact. Mental slavery is real! And having ignorance to it will shift and distort your reality! You must educate yourself in whatever you do, whether you choose to enact positive actions within your general life, or whatever career path you ultimately follow. With practice, and a will to succeed! Good works will manifest in your life. Believe you are a capable person and a valued member to society, and any team you’re placed within. Because of your talent and the transferable skill you bring to the business table. Have believe in the skills you have acquired, mastered and attained over your life's journey and side missions to succeed, achieve and become your desired aspiration. Try your best to master your craft through learning and educating, and your wants and needs will manifest.
Soon you may be one of the best in your field of study and work, or whatever you choose! You may gain membership and association to an elite group of thinkers and doers. Gaining the right! To be remembered as a person who is connected to an exclusive group of people, who are spoken of with astonishment and wonder. Being remembered though out time, in the world of today, as a renowned academic, theorist, philosopher, tactician; and the list goes on from there… Your name, attributes, contribution, skills and talents alongside your family’s name; will be carried through out the pages of history and time. It will be the greatest of gifts a person can receive! If this appeals to you! At any time during our journey of discovery, on the mission of life, try to remember these five words… Believe And You Will Achieve!!!
Change the way you think and your actions will be changed: I leant this early, your decisions effect you’re reality and thus, your future. Also, all these decisions we make as individual members, of a larger family and society. Can detrimentally or positively affect the individual and the family they wish to protect.
This generation will leave a mark on this world and will affect the mental process of the younger, in a positive or negative way. So, still the world will change and the people in it will change as well. Their thoughts, behaviours and ideas will chance. Literally, you and the people you know are changed by the choices and decisions they make, the society makes and the community your in makes. Moreover, government systems, emotional circumstances and life’s stresses, have a hand in effecting who you are and who you become, because they effect the way you think. This idea has been scientifically proven and is called Nature & Nurture. Basically, What You Absorb You Become, What You Filter You Learn From. So, what you watch read or listen to will intern effect you. Or, You are What You Eat
Who You Are and What You Become is up to you. There will be life pressures but treat it as a form of education, in of its selves! And you will learn eventually, to manifest who you truly are in time. It’s your destiny to grow and learn as the protagonist of your story, with your hopes and dreams manifesting into your reality. You will never know what you are capable of, or what you truly will accomplish in time.
If The Scales Of Time Turned, And Began To Pour At The Beginning Of Your Life, what grains of memory will you be remembered for. At the crescendo… and your ultimate death! What memory will you leave? What stamp on society and the history books, will remain of you? What love ones will carry your name to the next generation of men & women of the family tree? Which family and friends will you have? And Who Are You?
These sorts of questions I found myself asking, my inner person, when I was as young as six years old. I know a very young age. But I was In an horrific Car Crash were I was swept up, from the grasp of my mother and rolled, squashed between the front wheel of a speeding car. Inside the car housed a restless, Racist White European Woman, who claims she was putting on her make-up at the time, so she never sore the child on the pavement. That child was me; I had to go for sever surgery’s over the course of two days, as I had broken many my bones, including both my legs. I also had a few ruptured organs, and was near death. I was on a simmer-frame and than crutches for three years, were I had to learn to walk again. It was two years past the age of a toddler and I had or ready experience my first experience of a near death.
My mother all ways tells me I was born backwards and nearly died as a baby! “But Some How, Boy! I Borne You! You Come Form Me… She used to say. So now I’m older I realise, I nearly died in child birth or maybe nearly killed my mother. But then if you think about it, what if we both died, maybe I nearly killed us both? Maybe!!! However, I would like to point out! we both still are alive. We survived, though shire will of force. It’s as though we both had a plan to never stop pushing. And To Not Stop Pushing until I have reached and achieved my goals has been the main factor about me, I have a unyielding focus to achieve, and finish what I start. It has allowed me to gain the ability too overcome unassailing odds, and somehow come out smiling on the other side. It’s almost as though, I’m whispering to my self these words of encouragement, all the time! And I maybe tired at the finish-line, but at least I am still here, somehow. Through Sear Will And Stamina, I Survive! So I will overcome! And Then I Will Achieve! No obstacle will block me or stop me; if I can go around it, under it, or through it.
So obviously, from my early experiences of the world, I did not have a great start. Somehow this unfortunate streak continued too followed me, throughout my life.
The bad times were compounded, when I had my second taste of another near death experience, at the age of eight. I was playing Frisbee in a park close too Central London. The park was quite large and quite famous. A Larger Arabian Boy approached me and then asked to play with the Frisbee. I did not know him but felt intimidated, so handed it over; in a wearily manner. To my surprise! Unfortunately, He though the Frisbee over the parks outer spiked fence into the road, I didn’t have time to check his reaction, as I was not thinking clearly. I just wanted my Frisbee back! So I ran after it, immediately, hauling my self up a set of bars and bushes. I reach the top, somehow! And jump to retrieve the item. But it was a futile attempt, because I slipped.
Picture this, I was and eight year old boy blacking out, upside down blood pouring down his body and face, because my foot was now impaled on a railing. I nearly died of blood loss and they were debating whoever to amputate my foot; off clean, in surgery. I ended up on crouches for a year and a half, which actually means I healed quite quickly, which was positive.
Me and mum older sister and younger brother, than decided to move as we felt we were being unfairly treated and targeted for attacked. A series of events transpired that I was too young to understand. But I remember this, we ended up on the run, because some sort of people, were threatening my mum. For no go reason to my understanding, and because of this, we ended up in different types of Refuges and Hostels. We moved around for a bit, but were allowed to settle in North West London, in an area called Monks Park, Wembley. The name was no exudation; this place was a massive field, of houses; and off the main Motorway. We lived right at the back of Wembley Stadium in Wembley, Brent, London, England. So Monks Park felt like a safe place. I realised later on, in our new home, that no-one could see us, in this field of up-scaled housing. And we thought we could finally live in peace, we were wrong!
Somehow, at my young age I came to the conclusion, quite early. If I am of Black Caribbean decant and a young living in London, England; where there is very few of us, there will be no help for me in this foreign community so I must try hard to succeed! For my family and myself, I must aim to be the best I can be, with what ever resource I have. I believe I will achieve.
I remember it clearly, when I made the decision to, Never Stop Pushing. It was made inside the new house in Monks Park, and I just had finished a game of chess, where I was playing myself and reading a book on chess moves; “I got form my mum, for Christmas. “Then I had a good idea”. What if I used my own toy soldiers and made up my own chess game. So I began to list the items, I would need for this new game:
• Toy Soldiers
• Toy tanks, Toy Horse Riders, Toy Helicopters
• Two Army Military Bases
• Miscellaneous Items: A Ruler, 4 Dice, A Pen/Paper & Some Counters
However, as I began to mature and develop through my early childhood, I also began to think and question my small world; Why, was the main question!!! Why had this all happened to us and me. This kept on coming back as a question in my main and daily thoughts. I felt there was something strange with the world, no-one cared about me or my families safety. I had nearly died two times already and then my family was made homeless and left on the run and now I was only nine years old. What Was Going On, Was It My Fault? I didn’t know but what I thought was, this is crazy!!!
Later on in the same year, I went to quite a large primary school called Oakinton Manor, and things start well. I was recognised for my reading ability, sports and musical talent. Often I would be ask by the teacher too take a trip with some of the girls of the school, to a local recording studio to sing, some or such; school anthem with them. I enjoyed it. The boys never really warmed to me back then but I kept myself, too myself and put it up too, the fact I was a new student.
One day, I met a boy who really liked to play football; “His name was, Patrick.” He was an African boy, who loved talking about football, his main attribute was kick-ups, and he could he could do 100 kick-ups, on the spot. I didn’t really believe him because at the age of 9 I was the only boy that could secretly do 100 kick-ups, and reach such a high number in the game. However, I was not going to tell anyone, demonstrate to anybody or show anyone. My talents or tricks were mine, just encase they tried to beat me up or started to copy me, No! my tricks and talents. Also, I was worried about bullying from some of my other peers, who openly never respected me. I predicted that physically bullying, lies and rumours would be aim in my direction if they knew, so I played it safe and kept myself to my own person. I was happy doing my 100 kick-ups, at home. Were no-one would see me, because no-one was watching or looking at me on the front porch of my house.
So I called Patrick a liar and left “You can’t do 100 kicks-ups, Bro! You’re a liar.” However, unawares to me. We were not alone, and I was not no-more top dog in this school. Another African boy; “He later turned out to be Patrick’s cousin”. Was watching, and came up from behind both of us, very rudely, avoid of manners, for someone I did not know. He dart evil eyes in my direction and shouted aloud retort at me, I just guessing but I don’t think he liked, what i had said. Not many words were said, as we were children, but rude words passed out of our lips, in the fame of I challenge you. He then laughed and called to his friends, they called there friends and the echo of kick-up challenge spread, though out the school. A large crowd emerged and gathered in the centre of the schools court yards, paly area. Gavin then handed the ball to Patrick and said your going first, so I said “No! He’s my friend, I don’t want to play no stupid game.”. But Patrick had all or ready stared. I think he got to around 80 or 90 kick-ups, before the ball touched the floor and it was my turn. And It was my go so I took the ball off the floor, and said fine I’ll do it! The crowd went quite, I mean the whole pitch. No one spoke, as the boy who was acting as the counter said “Ready, now begin.” I reached 102 and stopped on purpose, it was tiring as I didn’t always do kick-ups, because I preferred singing. But it was finally over and I had proven my self so I went home alone, as for some reason no-one would speak to me and that cold attitude towards me, carried on until I left the school.
The next day I was bright eye and happy with myself because of the events of yesterday. Somehow I had overcome the odds again and beaten the best footballer player, supposedly. In the school at his own game. When I was young I loved the mornings, and would wake up really early, get ready, eat then go to school. Nothing was different, everything was as normal. I was just happier that’s all! But this time! Because of the events of yesterday, I decided to take my football, and play some footie before the school day started in the schools court yards, play area.
I got to school and found Patrick, he wouldn’t really speak to me. But we played some football and did a few kick-ups together, before school lessons started. The day continued, as normal and I was blissfully happy if not a bit lonely. However, as the dinner bell rang for break time, after lessons. I got my football and went to same play area, I found Patrick in earlier. He was there so we continued our kick up practice. When we were finished we went our separate ways, him inside to lessons or the canteen, me to the sheds to speak to my teacher. Surprisingly, someone was watching us. Plotting and planning his revenge. It was Patrick’s cousin “Gavin”. He was waiting for someone, so I just tried too pass him, as quickly as I could as I was running. But for some reason, he blocked my path, and stared at me, he mumbled something. And the next thing I new, he had swung a punch at me so hard It broke my nose. Blood pored everywhere down me, my face and clothes were coved. This was my first time I had been attacked, at the age of 9 years old, But it was not my first time overcoming!
My mum was very upset and angry when got home, and I would think how does this happed when after we moved so far and we’ve been through so much. But anyway, I moved to a smaller primary school called Elsely on the over side of Monks park. The transition was smooth and it was a great school.
I graduated primary school and went to high school called, Preston Manor . a lot of things transpired in Preston Manor, over the course of my 5 year stay but too keep this letter short I will only highlight a few. I became the captain of my basket ball team and was said by my physical education teacher to be one of the best basket ball players he had ever seen, and definitely the best the within North West area. I became the striker for my school football team and did my best, and scored a few goals on away and home games but football is a 11 aside teams sport and if no-one goes traing then you loose. I became a champion, coming second in Table Tennis completions for schools in the region and local area. i became a proficient Actor, and my performing Arts teacher gave me B grade at the end of my schooling career. I feel in love with music and learnt to make beats, performed and hosted school radio, recorded music and record audio in a studio called the CLC or Cultural Learning Centre. And finally I became prefect of my school.
It was a strange time when I was young, with my self believing I had done my best by overcoming all and every challenge I had set my self. But there was another side of not being expect people always threatening me, and lies and rumours always being spread about my person. The latter did not have anything to do with me as I did not know, or pay any attention to these people. However, it did hurt and it did warp my reality to I should not speak to no-one.
As you can see! It was a very difficult start in the world for me but I do not apologies for nothing as I am still alive